working girl

 working hard, hardly working..

that pretty much sums me up at the moment.

it's been 3 months since i started working. a lot of people i know is way past this already having years of working experience behind them. the bright glow of fresh graduate-ness is long gone from their aura. but here i am, just starting. better late than never i guess :) so how has it been for me?

the first month was tough. i didn't enjoy it because i was too nervous, too scared to find out what's out there for me. each day is filled with "ang tanga tanga mo jam. d ko alam kung pano ka nkagraduate" moments. each night was filled with prayers not to screw up the next day. i was mentally kicking my self esteem with every little mistake i make while everyone around me was all "don't worry about it, you'll get the hang of it." and i knew they had a point but it's hard when you're trying so hard but things get f*cked up anyway. you would think that some amount of effort on my part would actually reward me with something good in return.

by the 2nd month, i calmed down a bit. when i make mistakes, i just shrug it off and put it in the "i'll do it the right way next time" pile at the corner of my mind. i was cutting myself a bit of slack now. and i find that i was actually starting to enjoy myself. before work, i find myself relaxed with just a healthy amount of nerves in my body. enough to keep me on my toes but not too much to make me crazy.

on the good side of things, i am immensely grateful for having these opportunities in my life. i feel so blessed that it just hits me like lightning sometimes. random epiphanies and whatnots. on the other hand, i find myself having no drive lately. i realized that my main goal for most of my life was to finish school and now that school is over, what's next?i have a job. so what now?i'm just a little bit lost and uninspired lately. I just need to have new goals, build new dreams. i'm just waiting for that to kick in. hehe :) i think it's ok to pause & reevaluate every now and then. so this is me pausing..

Breaking Dawn

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Stephenie Meyer

ok the last leg of the twilight saga madness.
this is my 3rd fave book from the saga. top parin ung twilight. 2nd ung eclipse. and last ung new moon :)

i think this book is a good way to end the series although wla mashadong action as i would have liked. pero at least happy ending. nalaman na ni charlie ung about them, nagkaron cla ng daughter, kinasal cla, naging vampire na c bella, naread narin ni edward ung mind nya sa huli, nag-armwrestling c emmett and bella, nagkaron na ng "partner" c jacob, more or less everybody happy in the end. i love jacob's book kc laftrip ung name nung chapters nya. hahaha :P pero wla mashadong edward moments d2 kc k renesmee umiikot ung story e, kaya 3rd lang to. hahaha :P pero i looove their wedding and honeymmon :)

few quotes from the book: (mostly from Jacob :))

"When it came to Bella, there were no lines he wouldn't cross."

"but that was just a distant future that died long before it had a chance to live"

"no matter how much i wanted it to, my life was not going to come together like that."

"i wasn't going to fall in love like a normal person. not when i was bleeding over someone else."

"It's easier to deal with your pain than face mine."

"She's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have."

" How could anyone help spreading this misery around?How could anyone not try to ease some of the burden by shoving a little piece of it off on someone else?"

Eclipse

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Stephenie Meyer

since i did the reviews for the 1st 2 books, y nt go all the way dba?
eclipse is such a kilig read :) andaaaameng edward moments and i cant help but love him more. i also love the edward-jacob moments. super lafftrip.

so..Edward vs. Jacob?who do you love more?

sabe nila (and i agree), c edward daw unrealistic. nde xa makatotohanan period. but for me its part of his charm. he's one of a kind. he's the type of guy we girls wish exist. Jacob on the other hand can be seen in almost every corner of the world. oh c'mon. ur best guy friend inlove with you. wala na atang mas gagasgas pa dun. hahaha :P and altho edward is like the prince charming type and gasgas na rin un, i have to admit i have a soft spot for him. kc a part of me is still wishing for that fairytale to come true and part of that fairytale involves an Edward. haaaay :) my point is, mangangarap ka narin lang, e sagarin mo na! aim high! hehehe :D altho sabe nila ang best foundation daw ng relationship is friendship so i guess on paper, mas ok tlga c Jacob. pero minsan kc mas ok na ung bestfriend mo e bestfriend mo lang tlga. nde ba pde un?cant u get both ur prince charming and bestfriend?

bat apektado ako mashado?hahaha :P

anyway, onting quotes lang ung nakuha ko pero i love a lot of scenes in the book :)

Edward: Do you really have any idea how important you are to me?Any concept at all how much I love you?
Bella: I know how much I love you
Edward: You compare one small tree to a forest ♥

Jacob: He's like a drug for you Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun.
Bella: I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun, my personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me.
Jacob: The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse. (YUN NA!!!)

Bella: I wondered if I would've wavered, if I hadn't lost Edward once. If I didn't know what it was like to live without him. I wasn't sure. That knowledge was so deep a part of me, I couldn't imagine how I would feel without it.

Bella: I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more.

Edward: When I left you Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one who stitched you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark - on both of you. I'm not sure those kind of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences.

Bella: you know i love you
Jacob: i know. you know how much I wish it was enough.

New Moon

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Stephenie Meyer

it was a disappointment for obvious reasons. pero xmpre edward saved the day by the end. haaay..iba e! but i know this book is a vital part of the saga kaya cge pagbgyan na natin. and in fairness nakarelate ako on so many levels :P im such a big fan of heartbreak. masochist!

and ang pinakaimportante, andameng quotes d2! yey!

"Like everything in life, I just had to decide what to do with what was given."

"You can see it's a clean break. It will hear more easily, more quickly"

"The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface"

"I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard."

"It was depressing to realize that I wasn't the heroine anymore, that my story was over."

"I couldn't imagine anything in the world left to be afraid of, not physically at least"

"As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I could not think of them but I must remember them."

"forbidden to remember, terrified to forget"

"It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it" (favorite!!)

"I was changed, my insides altered almost past the point of recognition."

"I was like a lost moon that continued, nevertheless to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity."

"I didn't keep track of the days that passed, as I tried to live as much in the present as possible, no past fading, no future impending"

"I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house, for months I'd been utterly uninhabitable. No amount of investment on his part can put me back in working order."

"It was the same place, but it didn't hold what I had been searching for."

"How many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating?"

" I would have to commit to this - commit as much of me as there was left, every one of the broken pieces."

"Would it be wrong to try to make Jacob happy?Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of."

"After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"